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The opinion poll series(1): The Beginning of the End💔 Break ups are hard, and heart breaks are even harder, almost everyone gets heart broken at least once or twice In thier life time, unless you are a monk or something of the sort…lol.
The focus although is on how you know your relationship is over, especially as the woman in the relationship.
The natural order in every relationship or better still, the most popular is this:
Boy meets girl- boy likes girl- boy asks girl out/chases her- girl starts to like boy- boy and girl start dating/fall in love- boy or girl either break up or get married.
For the purpose of the topic though, the focus is boy and girl break up…lol! Rewind back to boy likes girl, in my experience, and due to my study🤓 I have discovered that men “eat” with thier eyes, they are highly lustful in nature hence are drawn mostly first, to what they see…physical appearances depending on thier taste (this is probably why make up, weaves, push up bras, waist trainers and butt lifts were invented 😝) I like to call them icing on the cake. This is unlike the woman who falls for what she hears and what he does in the wooing process, it’s probably why the battle is fierce these days😩😄, women have upped their packaging games, there is not a single beauty enhancing product you can’t find in the market and men, well, they have become professional poets, they can make you believe the sky is black…skills have been horned by both parties.
Okay, now fast forward to boy and girl start dating, the first 2/3 months are pure bliss and boy can’t stop popping out the L word, promises are made, he is a gentle man through and through. Opens every type of door for you, can’t stop holding you hand, asking if you are okay etc.
After the first few months, well, things start to change and there is almost a total swap in duty. It is now the lady’s work to try and keep the relationship going, keep her man happy and make sure he is satisfied. This is because you were a conquest, a mystery, a new doll hanging at the shop, almost flawless in his eyes and it is in a man’s nature to want to conquer or work for something. When you have given him your all, he has seen your flaws and is tired of his doll, he wants to move onto the next one.
Sadly, only a gentle man and one who truly loves you, will try to keep things spicey, or not get tired of being with you, listening to you, considering your needs first and buying you not necessarily expensive, but thoughtful gifts.
⬆️ (You can check out her page on IG: @peniel_enchill, big fan of her art❤️)
If by any chance your man is tired of the relationship, he may not say…most men do not like to say it, they do not want to be the one to do the breaking up, something to do with not adding salt to injury, so, they start leaving the smallest signs here and there, consciously and unconsciously and as much as you may have grown to love him, at this stage, it is good to pack ur bags and walk! It is definatly not easy, but you have to take a hint and do the deed, it is his loss! The earlier the better Hun…
Women are very intuitive in nature, don’t take that for granted, use your intuition, don’t doubt them, because they are never wrong! We see the signs but we close our eyes to them or make excuses for his faults but the thing is, you are not doing yourself any favours, it would only get worse and the longer you make excuses, the more you will eventually end up hating yourself…so here my dear, are the signs:
2. Your can tell he is lying about where he was, why he couldn’t do this or that, who he was talking to on the phone…I repeat, your intuition is powerful, you shouldn’t jump into conclusions but!!! investigate the matter thoroughly!🤓
3. He is always in a hurry to leave and you practically have to beg to see him, or tempt him with food, etc before he graces you with his presence🙄 He-“You know I don’t have time, bring that food let me eat, see you next week love”…(next week?)
4. He becomes parmanently broke or stingy, Bae, that money is going to the other Bae, do not make excuses for him. Hard times do not last forever, do they? Where was it when you were asking me out, why has it come to stay now that we are serious, how come you can afford two pairs of shoes and you won’t even buy me one slippers? Ehn?!🤔
5. He doesn’t want to take you out on dates anymore, “let’s chill at home”, “tired”…all the time! Mr lover lover, you did not know the house was chill when You were asking me out ba? Chill at home in this hot weather, you can’t even buy fuel and put in the generator!😳😊
6. You can tell he is no longer attracted to you physically, mentally, emotionally…it becomes a chore to please you. Before he used to say that Nicki minaj was a learner compared to your beauty, your picture was his screen saver, every morning and night “baby…” Now he looks at you like your ugly Betty, notices a fold here and there💀 and to make it worse, he has made the quote “nothing last forever” his screen saver?!😡
7. He is always accusing you or trying to put the blame on you when things go wrong even when he is obviously at fault, he can’t be bothered to defend him self, his mannerisms show that you can think whatever you like, He could care less -You “So you are still talking to Sandra, even after you promised not to?”, him -“why are you always reading my text messages, why are you invading my privacy? After I gave you one missed call and you refused to pick, why won’t I text Sandra?”😭😰
8. He is always hanging out with his friends, 6am, he went to help Paul buy fuel, 7pm-2am he went for drinks and to watch the match with his friends, 3pm, he was trying to settle the dispute between Ralph and his #girlfriend…..really?…really?! Your house is on fire and you are putting out the fire in your neighbor’s house, so I should burn to death na? 😩
9. He is not as jealous as he used to be, probably fronts that he is, but you know it’s just a weak ass front. You -“Baby, my ex has been disturbing me for the past two days”…#before, ever so angrily and passionately he would say -“That idiot, let me speak to him!” NOW -” hmmm…that’s your business o…how did he even get your number?☹️”
10. Your efforts are barely appreciated. You -” Baby, I made your favorite meal, and I bought that lingerie you said you liked…” Him -“How many times will you make that food for me? Infact it is looking over cooked, plus, didn’t I tell you that that lingerie would not fit you? Why are you wasting money…🤔”
11. Most popular….every girl becomes his sister or cousin…and you see names like edible catering or lemonade as contacts on his phone, my dear, any suspicious name, dial that number, do not be fooled!😤
12. Any time you ignore him or threaten to break up, he is not bothered, instead he may say ” you said that the last time”😕
13. Suddenly, sending short replies to your long messages instead of long calls becomes the norm…You -“Boo, good morning, how was your day? My day was……………………………………………………………………….
………………i missed u……….my knight in shining amour……love you to the……..😍😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️❤️💋💋💋💋😘😘😘😻😻😻😻💋💋💋😊”
Him -“okay babe, gm.”
and last but not the least …
14. When he finally acknowledges his wrong “I am sorry baby, it won’t happen again, I promise it will be better next time”… The next day he does something worse!
So if you are experiencing this or something similar, it is not too late to leave, you will make excuses in the begining, totally understandable, your friends will see…you will not, you will give a million chances, but finally Bae, move on before you miss your chances with someone who is truly your soulmate and someone who appreciates the treasure that you are, before his friends begin to make silly jokes about u and he doesn’t defend you, before you loose your self respect…it is easier said than done, but don’t forget *nothing good comes easy* cry into your friends arms, distract yourself and when you think you are ready, give someone else a chance!
…ok, I talk too much, hope it was relatable and at least funny? Please comment your own experiences, points, you may be helping a sister, the signs can never be too much, share your thoughts, like if you like, and even if you don’t😜 Refer a friend and follow!
Below are quotes I think we could all learn from, the best of Amari Soul compiled by my humble self🤓 Hope it’s useful?
Press play▶️(Slide show) Author: Mr. Amari Soul
➡️Please click on the link and read more on how to deal with a post breakup, from my bestie
…if you loved this post, you would definitely find it an interesting continuation.
Here is an except
“…do something for you! Do something that you have always enjoyed doing, it could be reading, writing, running; whatever it is, make sure its something your passionate about and transform your negative emotions into positive. Consider that moment of hurt and pain your chance to get to date yourself and fall in love with you.”
P.s: This article does not relate to married couples😩 That union is for better for worse💀